Stuff I Want

And I want that power in the form of a home standby generator…

And I want this because we have what must be the most unreliable electric power grid in the country in the Memphis area.  This is mostly because we have so many trees, very large trees in many cases, which tend to fall during storms and take the power lines with them.  This happens so frequently that I have the power outage reporting number on speed dial.

Still, with one of those GUARDIAN standby generators hooked into my house’s electric lines, I would hardly even notice a power outage.   With the ability to produce 16 kw – enough electricity to run 160 100 watt light bulbs and a 300 gallon tank of propane, this bad boy would power most everything in the house, except maybe the washer and drier, for days if need be.  It even comes on automatically which means I wouldn’t have to go out in the nasty weather to start it!  Best of all, I could offer hot food and shelter to the neighbors during the blackout.  I like my neighbors and $5,000 seems like a small price to pay to make them, and me, comfortable in an emergency.  Now if I can just convince my wife of that

the Grit

And not just any hot tub; this one…

… which is a Jacuzzi J-480 spa / hot tub.  It sounds like it’s well equipped – lots of jets, built in music system and lights, and even a little water fall.  Plus, they claim it seats 6, so the wife and I should be able to squeeze in. 

Sure, considering the weather here, we’d probably only use it twice a year, tops, but I still want one.  Plus, I want it mounted in the deck like this…

… which would really show it off and make a great conversation piece when we have parties.  And who knows, if the wine flows freely enough   That might even make it worth the price, which isn’t listed, but which I suspect is up there, considering that their web page talks a lot about helping the customer with credit.

the Grit

OK, it’s not like I’m a weakling or something. I can yank a 50 pound bag of dog food out of the back of my truck with one hand. I just don’t look like I have muscles. So I want one of these…

No, not the hunk, although Annie may disagree with me on that point, the Bowflex.  I’ve seen their ads on TV for years, and since they never tell you the list price, just the monthly payments, it must be expensive.  I want some show muscles, and this looks like it would be easy enough to use that I might actually do so.  Besides, it would be fun if some visitor noticed it in my bedroom, just for the conversation value.

the Grit

OK, I don’t really need this gun.  Honestly, for practical purposes a smaller caliber rifle would be better, and cheaper, but one can’t always live by what’s practical, and selecting a Barrett M107 .50 Caliber sniper rifle over some smaller caliber varmint rifle is one of those times.  Truly, my general rifle needs – shooting beavers and snakes and occasionally adding a bit of authority to my claims that the property on which people are trespassing is really mine - could easily be served with a 30-30, but this blog isn’t about practical stuff.  So this is what I want…

… even though I’d probably have trouble finding a place to test fire it without killing a handful of neighbors.  There’s also the thought that, should I ever decide to shoot a deer or two, the only thing left would be ground meat.  Still, one would look mighty good mounted above my mantel with some of the bullets in a glass display case underneath.  So, while $9,000 for a conversation piece may be a bit high for most people, it would definitely be a good one.  Plus, my don’t mess with status in the neighborhood would go up several notches.

the Grit

Where’s the beef?!  Well, in some alternate universe a special heap of it would be on my Christmas supper table.  As background, we always make a big deal out of Christmas dinner, and always invite all of our relatives who live in the area as well as all our friends who don’t have family near by to visit.  Thus, it’s not at all uncommon for us to have 20 people over for the holiday feast.  Generally speaking, while I usually sneak in at least one experimental dish, my wife insists that I hold to traditional items from a Southern fancy meal menu.  (Yawn)  So, if ever given the chance, I’d like to serve…

Wagyu Kobe beef ribeye steaks!  While these come from cows raised in America instead of from the specially pampered bovines of Japan, I’ve heard that they are absolutely mind blowing in their deliciousness.  While I’m normally one who pinches pennies so hard that Lincoln’s head pops, every now and then I get the itch to blow some money on non-essentials, and this is one of those times.  Really, what’s life without a bit of indulgence every now and then, and at $316 for 4 one pound steaks, serving these for your immediate family, let alone a large dinner party, definitely qualifies as decadence!

Still, if you take a moment to close your eyes, think about how much fun you’d have cooking these slabs of expensive meat on the grill – and serving such delights would undoubtedly be good reason to purchase a new grill – probably over charcoal with just a bit of hickory for just a hint of smoky flavor, and then how sweet it would be to present such treats to your unsuspecting guests, I think you’ll agree that this is definitely something to keep in mind for when you hit the lottery.

the Grit

I’ve always agreed with the old saying that a man’s (and presumably a woman’s) home is his castle.  Which is all well and good, but the trouble with castles is that people, such as Government agents, know where to find you.  That’s why I want a castle that can cruse the highway system, taking me where ever the mood directs me, and in this case will even let me put to sea should I get the urge.

Yes, that’s the Terra Wind amphibious motor home.  Sure, at $800,000 – $1,200,000 it’s a bit pricey, but I’m thinking it’s worth it if you happen to have the means.  Just take a look at the interior…

Really, just a glimpse of the drivers seat is enough to make me want one.  And if that’s not enough, just look at the amount of open space!  You could have a semi-serious party in this ride.  Oh, and those black & white floor squares, are marble.  The cabinets are teak.  The counter tops are granite.  And I’m thinking luxury on the move.  Beyond that, it has all the latest electronics: a really loud stereo system, 42″ TV, all the initialed video players, and a satellite system that even works while your moving on down the road.  More important to me, it has a full kitchen with a 4 burner range and a side by side fridge.  It even has a trash compactor!  And for you  clean freaks, it comes with an 8 jet whirlpool tub.

Sure, it may not be up to Bill Gates’ standards, but it would do me just fine.  Besides, the amphibious capability would give you the right to wear a fancy captain’s hat while driving.

the Grit

While cars and designer clothes are wonderful, sometimes I just want something simple. Like, the complete Gilmore Girls on DVD. Have I mentioned that I love movies and DVDs and could just watch them til my eyeballs bleed? Anyway, life with Rory and Loralie is too much fun not to be able to watch it anytime you want.

Currently, I’m forced to watch it online as random episodes are posted at joost.com. But it’s not the same as having your very own 42 DVD set, is it?

At a mere $200 – $87 (depending on the vendor) it is a mere drop in the bucket for all the viewing pleasure it can bring me. And I want it. I just do. Yes, it’s mindless sitcom television, but the dialogue is snappy and the characters are fun and and frankly it’s just like an episodic chick flick – and we can watch those over and over, can’t we girls?

And when I grow up I want to be just like Loralie and find my prince (Luke) too. I want it, I want it, I want it.

And it would really be fun to watch it on your cool new boat, Grit – especially after the drive there in your cool new car.

I want a party boat.  To be more specific, I want one of these…

Which is a Sanpan 2500FE, manufactured by Godfrey Marine.  Sure it costs more than most people make in a year, but it has an excellent reputation for quality and durability and, really, doesn’t everyone get that urge every now and then to take up to a dozen friends on the aquatic version of a road trip?

Just take a peek at the floor plan…

… party city on floats!  There are cup holders – beer holders more likely – everywhere, two built in coolers, and even a porta potty!  You can also get it with a built in charcoal grill, a sink with running water, some sort of pop up table, bug screens that drop down from the folding canopy, LED floor lighting everywhere so you don’t walk overboard after dark, a sound system that looks to be powerful enough to kill passing fish, and a captain’s station that will make you feel like Captain Kirk!  Also, it’s built to accept a big enough motor to pull skiers or wake boarders. 

Truly, I’m thinking that putting to sea, or lake, in one of these with a few good friends and a cargo of food, beverage, and charcoal for a day of simply messing around in a boat would be as close as most of us are ever going to get to a trip down the Nile on Cleopatra’s pleasure barge.

the Grit

One of the things I have been jonesing for since their inception is an LCD TV. Not only are they lightweight, attractive and HDTV ready, but they also have incredible clarity and definition. In particular the Sharp Aquos is on my hit list.

Of all the LCD TVs I’ve seen in electronics showrooms this one grabs me the most. I’m not much of a techie so I can’t tell you about all the groovy connectors, gaming possibilities and so forth. But I can say that their sleek design make it seem more like a cool sculpture than a television and the fact that I can move it without the aid of two smelly, burly moving guys really grabs me.

Not to mention the fact that I don’t need an entire corner of the room dedicated to television central. With one nice, compact entertainment center I can have my TV, DVD player, VCR and movies all in one relatively small space. And since I’m known for living in tiny spaces and for some reason gravitate to them, this works well for me.

Also instead of the unweildy tangle of cables, wires and all that unsightly stuff, everything plugs in 1,2,3 and you’re ready to go. Even a techie retard like me can set it up and have it going in no time. (Note: TiVo not included).

So, we’ve got style, manueverability and great viewing – what more could you want?

A Ford Shelby Cobra Mustang GT500 to be more or less exact.  OK, I’m not shooting for the moon on this one, but at nearly $50,000 it’s as far out of my price range as any Ferrari, but if one had the cash, or credit, it would be a lot easier to get.

Besides, even if it’s not an exotic super car, with a curb weight of 3,900 pounds and an engine that cranks out 540 horse power, most people wouldn’t be able to notice the difference between this beast and one of those million dollar cars, at least on a straight road.  Sure, the sophisticated among us might detect the difference between a 0-60 MPH time of slightly over 4 seconds for the Cobra and a second or so less for, say, the McLaren F1 which does it in 3.2 seconds, but one has to be both sophisticated and rich to shell out the extra $930,000 for the extra thrill. 

I’d also mention that even GEICO is probably going to charge you the price of a Mustang every year to insure your McLaren.  Also, I’d point out that, while the expensive car tops out at over 200 MPH and the Shelby Cobra is only estimated to hit 160 MPH, I can’t even afford the price of a speeding ticket at 90 MPH, so it doesn’t matter.  On the other hand, the Mustang comes in a convertible version so you can cruse along and share your taste in music with pedestrians in style.  In addition, I’m betting that its massive engine, a super charged 5.4 liter DOHC V-8, will make that car rock and growl if you stomp on the accelerator with it in neutral, and damn but its fun to watch people around you jump when you hit it! 

I want one,
the Grit